SOME STEPS TO BOOST A CHILD SELF-CONFIDENCE

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Accept your child's feelings and difficulties so he wont see himself as a failure.

Let him know you are with him and he can rely on you in difficulties before seeking for solutions.

Praise his abilities, efforts and process and not only intelligence, while rejecting what is unacceptable. 

Allow your child to be independent and give him responsibilities.

In so doing, you are giving tim the necessary tool to be resilient in times of difficulties and self doubt.

THE TALK PART 5

The last time, I talked on teaching the children about sex at home before they learn it from outside. I equally talked about gaining their trust, for their own good and for our peace of mind as good parents.

It is easier with children, that is preteens, unlike the teenagers.
Some of the ways I recommend in no particular order through research are:

1. Please befriend them including their friends if you want to hear things.
2. Learn to respect them and their privacy.
3. Keep your promises and explain nicely when you can't, but it shouldn't be regular! Be reliable.
4. Try as much as you can to maintain a peaceful home.
5. Make it a habit to always communicate, if you only call whenever you are suspicious, it will seem like you are monitoring.
6. Be patient, you know what you want to achieve.

They want to be treated like adults, this way you can gain their trust. They can tell you stuff about their escapades, dates, crush etc. Then they will value your advice.
Remember, with teenagers, the more you look, the less you see.
All the best.

THE TALK PART 4

I guess some of our children, the leaders of today and our hope for tomorrow are back in school. Kudos the the good job you did as parents during the holiday.

I hope you talked about SEX!!! Yes, the younger ones are to be told about their PP, like my children call it. It is a no go area. To be to touched by nobody, it is their Private Property!
But before you can succeeded in telling them everything they need to know about sex, you must earn their TRUST!

This will enable them to open up and tell you if they are been abused or molested.
Remember, almost all the abuse are perpetrated by family members or family friends.
For the older ones, the teenagers, you must be able to crack the nut for them to open up.
In their own case, it is the more you look, the less you see. Most of them know more than us.

 However, if we do our work well, by coming down to their level and making them our friends, they would learn from our Family Values, this would avert disaster.
How can we establish trust? We will talk more on that on THE TALK PART 5.

THE TALK PART 3

It is almost time to begin the move back to school.
It is the right time to proceed with THE TALK. Now that we have worked on our Family Values, we have bought things for school runs, let's roll.

You can start exactly anywhere with the talk especially if it is your child's first time of living home to a boarding house.
You will begin to retrace what your family stands for and let your superhero know that he is indeed your superhero.

Let him know that he is going to school as the family ambassador.
Explain to him that you have so much regard, trust and confidence in him.
Set high standards for him.

Let him know whose child he is. ( Not the child of a parent who talks down on teachers or who is known for their riches and affluence only) but the son of a virtuous man. The daughter of a responsible and a respectable family.
If you do this well, he will not succumb to peer pressure.
And above all, pray for him without ceasing.

Pray for his teachers, because a teacher can alter the destiny of a child positively or otherwise.
Pray for his friends.

I am sure we want a better child coming home from school/ boarding house; then let's talk about trust and Sex Education in THE TALK PART 4.

THE TALK PART 2

Remember we were talking about going back to school.
Before we proceed further, I would like us to review those things that would make this talk positive and meaningful.
Foundation is key!

 
FAMILY VALUES, that is, family principles and standards. Here, I will term it: Family missions and visions statement. This can never be over emphasized. Do you have them, or do you have anything similar? I guess most of us don't have them, some never thought of it and so putting it into practice becomes a herculean task if it doesn't exist.
My concentration is on THE TALK, but in case you are yet to develop a family mission and vision to back it up, it is never too late to start now.

You may be wondering how do I go about what I don't even know. Well, it is very imperative. In our work places we have mission and vision statements. It simply means what the (company), now family, stands for, their goals and aspirations; what they want to achieve and how to get there. 

Does your family stand for anything? Do you have Family Values? Once again, it is never too late to start one so that THE TALK will yield results.
I know we don't want our innocent children coming back for the next holiday as innocent prostitutes, innocent rapists, innocent cultists, criminals, innocent gays etc.
Now is the time for you as a parent to first and foremost sit down and list a comprehensive family values that you model ( or will be modelling) and it shall be followed religiously by family members.

I will give you time to ponder on the Values as we await THE TALK PART 3.

THE TALK PART 1

Hello everyone,
 
As the holiday gradually comes to an end, we have come to that time of the year, some of us dread, especially parents, but it must surely come to pass. 
Some of us worry about school fees.

Some worry about the different world out there in the boarding house and hostels.
While some worry about how the child(ren) will cope in the absence of their parents, knowing their innocence and maturity level.

Worry no more though it is normal.

Pray and TALK. Yes, you need to have that talk with your Superstar!
You may be asking what has talk got to do with it? Yes again, a lot!
We shall continue with THE TALK PART 2.